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the skunks of los feliz
12.09.2004
 

From the "Just Because They're After You, It Don't Mean You're Not Paranoid" Department:

Apparently the criminal masterminds behind the international Jihadist movement have decided to try to cause jetliners to crash by shining laser beams into the eyes of the flight crew during the landing process.

Amongst the constant stream of ominous warnings emanating from Washington, cautioning of ever more far-fetched Rube Goldbergesque plots to attack us, this has got to be one of the most bizarre (not to mention ineffective).

It makes me wonder what evil plot will next be revealed by the creative thinkers at the Department of Homeland Security. Lessee, why not terrorists plotting to fire frozen turkeys out of an air cannon and into the jet intakes of airborne 747's? How about Islamists scattering banana peels along the runway? Basque separatists coordinating with the Arcturian UFO Forces to beam the flight crew right out of the cockpit?

It kills me that this kind of crap is being taken seriously, when the real threat to air safety is the fact that the Bush administration has bowed to air cargo carriers and refused to require the screening of cargo on passenger flights. When you fly, just inches below your feet are boxes upon boxes of cargo that could easily contain a bomb, and not one of those boxes is ever inspected. How long will it be before some nutjob with a grudge and a pound of plastic explosives (perhaps purloined from the Paris police) exploits that vulnerability?

Instead of focusing on that threat, I'm sure the TSA will start issuing Anti-Laser Beam Goggles to flight crews.

That'll show those raygun totin' heathens who's boss.
 
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